A.B.S.U.R.D demo in Washington

See http://free.freespeech.org/suds_unite/ for more slogans, old slogans, new slogans ...
The Jaded and Converted and Dicks For Dick invite you to Washington:
October 26, 2002

Break out your beehive, your two tone shoes, your cardigans!
Too hip and cynical to pin a flower in your hair and hold hands with strangers? Well then, you are invited to join A.B.S.U.R.D. Response and Party for Perma-War for a festive, ironic, theatrical march that will eventually feed into the anti-war rally in DC. For the real fun, assemble with DICKS FOR DICK at the BIG DICK (aka the Washington Monument) at 11 am on Saturday, October 26.

***bus tix from NYC available at http://www.nysaynotowar.org ***

Because everyone from James Baker III, to Nelson Mandela, to CIA director George Tenet has said this war is absurd, in the tradition of the first Absurdists we will create our own Theater of the Absurd as our Idiot Boy King continues his relentless drive to pitch the world into a state of permanent warfare.

The festivities will commence with a ritual "Bowing Down To The Mighty Phallus," followed by a "hoisting of the balls of war" presided over by Reverend Billy and the Church of Stop Bombing Gospel Choir.

Bring costumes, Bring INSTRUMENTS, Bring posters and banners. Bring lots of friends. Be prepared to mock the Axis of Oil and Defense Funding without mercy. Please do not bring "No Blood for Oil" signs or Mimes. NO MIMES.

Party for a Perma War is brought to you by LESC, SUDS, RTS-NYC, OPP, The Converted & Jaded, Billionaire Liberation Front, Future Veterans for War, and You!

Suggested Signs:
War is Here, If You Want It (Blood and Iron, Dick & W)OBEY
ExxonMobil: These Colors Don't Run!
GE: These Colors Don't Run!
Westinghouse: These Colors Don't Run!
No Justice! No Peace, Either!
War IS Globalization
We (heart) Harken
God Bless Boeing
Pre-empt The UN
War Through Strength

please SPREAD THE WORD!

 

**********
21st Century Chicano Newscast
By Pocha Nostra (Gómez-Peña/ Katzenberger & Associates)

Part I
(Newscaster):
Good evening America; good morning Europe.
At the top of the news tonight: President Bush extends his "War on Terror" to Venus and Mars. Sources in Wachingón confirm that an allied occupation of Pluto has not been entirely ruled out. Operation "Intergalactic Justice" has garnered him a deserved nomination for the Nobel Peace Prize. Out in California on a last-minute mega-fundraising tour before signing the
campaign finance reform bill, Mr. Bush hosted a series of meetings with Hollywood executives to pitch his latest idea; "a sort of high-tech Spaghetti Western staged in the wrong set." Regarding Fox and MCNBC TV's much-awaited merger with the Pentagon, Chairman of the FCC, Michael Powell had this to say: "Dad and I couldn't be happier. Maintaining the optical illusion of a separation between the media and the government was a big waste of time and
resources, and now America can get down to business!" Clear Channel: We Rule the Airwaves and A Whole Lot More has announced a date for the live broadcast of
our new National Anthem. On Easter Sunday, singer-songwriter and devout fundamentalist Christian, Attorney General John Ashcroft will lead a humongous chorus of every single Republican and Democrat in the House and Senate (with the exception of "T-supporter" Barbara Lee) in what sources are calling "a million times better than The Star Spangled Banner!" At his Episcopalian church in Arkansas, Attorney Ashcroft comments en trance:
"Let it be clear! Only 25 Enron executives were actually employed by this administration. The porno-communist press always blows things out of proportion."

We'll be back after the following mock emergency security alert.

Part II
On the domestic terror front; an Al-Qaeda cell ( the 5th one discovered in America so far), was discovered in the saliva of an innocent- looking puppy in Queens, NY.The director of Homeland Security has declared that "all cloning of pets will be immediately suspended until further notice." In Los Angeles, what appeared to be an anthrax-laced pupusa was found in a subway
trashcan. The city's only mass-transit system was shut down for ten solid days, but no
one actually noticed. At the Ronald Reagan Airport in Washington D.C., an Arab-looking man
passed through security without receiving any extra harassment by airport REP personnel (Random Ethnic Profilers). As a result, Senator Dianne Feinstein is calling for a speedup of the federal takeover of airport security. "This is an outrage!"-- Feinstein fumed, "Anyone who doesn't look like they're from Norway or Pasadena absolutely must be subjected to a body-cavity search!" An 89-year-old Mexican national is being held by FBI agents after being
observed taking photos of the gardens at the Fresno County Courthouse. California

Governor Gray Davis called for a statewide maximum-security alert; "We have information that terrorists are planning to deploy horticultural weaponsof mass destruction." Said Gray in broken Spanish. America stands tall in its fight to defend freedom & democracy. An ex-ice cream vendor in San Jose who is thought to be related to someone whose neighbor might have an Arab friend has been named as the 21st hijacker and perhaps the 2nd serial sniper.
FBI director Robert Mueller cited the evidence: "The INS was about to extend his visa coño; case closed!" The US/Mexico border is now completely sealed. "There are no more illegals coming in." -said the Western Regional Commissioner of the INS. "The tourist, food, construction and entertainment industries are hoping to replace their illegal workers with
ethno-cyborgs overnight." Human and civil rights organizations are announcing an
epidemic of 'compassion fatigue.'

We'll be back after the following commercial?

Part III
On the international stage: The mummified body of OBL was found on exhibit at a roadside museum in Montana. DNA tests have confirmed his identity. A FBI actor from the popular TV program "Forensic Files" has challenged the DNA results:"We've encountered these mummies before. This one is not Osama. It's actually Noriega. Don't believe the hype." For his new "Tali-gap campaign", the mega-store has recruited 15 ex-Taliban supermodels, and a Chicano rap group named Oh Sammy bien Latin & the Tali-Beaners. 25 developing countries are fighting over who will be the next to host the exciting military exercises now taking place in the Philippines. Kuwait, Qatar, Colombia, and Somalia are tied. Prime Minister Ariel Sharon was caught on camera slamdancing with a group of skinheads in a Jerusalem nightclub. He
explained to our reporter "(his) message is finally getting across to the youth."
News break: Venezuelan leftist dictator Hubo Chavez was seen eating falafels with Yasser Arafat and a Saddam Hussein look-alike in Ramallah.--"bad timing"-- cried the Venezuelan spin department. In Guantanamo bay, human rights organizations are accusing the US of placing 18 prisoners inside a 4x4 Presbyterian wooden church. "They're small, I know?but they've got Direct-TV, what do this people want?"--Says US war Chief Tommy Toms.

Well be back in a few minutes, after a clear message from Texaco Oil and Exxon.

TO BE CONTINUED?